Paul Nijar

Spiritual Insights on Your Everyday Troubles

life hack

How to Defeat Anger Before It Defeats You!

“I’m going to HUFF and PUFF and BLOWWWW your house down!”

Anger is something that so many of us have to deal with. Whether we are witnessing someone else act out in a raging fit or if we are acting it out ourselves, it’s something that stimulates us at a very high intensity. Anger is something that we have almost come to accept as a part of life. This sad reality is what paves the way for future occurrences.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce

When we feel angry about something, there’s nothing more gratifying than expressing our feelings verbally or physically. For a short moment, we feel empowered and forceful. The heat that boils within finally has an outlet. We may feel as if our actions are justified because we’ve been wronged in some sort of way. Our ego reassures us that it’s ok to be mad and everyone on the receiving end deserves it. These feelings are short-lived because it won’t be long before we realize the implications of our actions.

“You are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences from the choice.”

In truth, the anger we express causes more damage to ourselves than others. Although, we’d like to believe that our methods serve us well, this is not true. We’ve been told for too long that anger is something that needs to be expressed in order for it to be released. We need an outlet for such emotions or they will eat away at us. It’s true that our emotions do need an outlet, but when we express them we are not necessarily releasing them.

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it’s with themselves.” – Unknown

Many of us have noticed some people tend to be angrier than others. When we meet such people we either avoid them, we marvel at their madness, or we try to help them. As much as we try to help them, or as much as they express their anger, these emotions keep resurfacing.

Why are these people always so mad?

Water beats fire! When you are angry, further anger will only add to the fire. You can’t think clearly enough to remove yourself from the feelings while you are still feeling them; a different method is needed. It’s like Albert Einstein’s quote, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” So do the opposite. DUH!!

Defeat anger before it defeats you!

When you are already angry it can be difficult to reverse those feelings. The best time to defeat anger is by getting it in its infancy. The moment you feel yourself about to get angry you must redirect your energy elsewhere. The decision is always ours as to how we want to respond to a situation. We can either React or Respond. Knowing the difference between the two will dictate the amount of blood rushing to your face.

You don’t want to see me when I’m green.

The moment you allow anger to be free, it’ll take over you. Soon you’ll be consumed with anger to such a degree that you’ll have to wait it out and by then you may have to deal with the aftermath of your actions. When our emotions settle, we see things in a different light. We may feel regretful, saddened, guilt, or some people may continue being angry. This is all based on our own perceptions of the circumstances.

Our reality is based on our own perception of reality.

When you understand this, you realize that our actions are not always justifiable. It’s all based on a decision we make within a small moment where the emotion is still in its infancy. When you make the decision to be angry you are paving the way for future outbursts.

Take a chill pill!

Being conscious of how you respond to certain events will help you not only in the moment, but also future situations. Neurologists have been claiming that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving. It’s just that easy! When a person has a tendency to be angry it’s because they chose it for themselves so they cannot justify it.

The best weapon against anger is no weapon.

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