Paul Nijar

Spiritual Insights on Your Everyday Troubles

happiness

How to Find Lasting Happiness

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What is happiness and where do I find it?

Happiness comes in many different forms for many of us. Everyone wants to be happy in some shape or another. But when we want for something, it’s because we feel it’s something we are lacking. It’s funny, because as much as we want it and can’t find it, it’s sitting right in front of us. There’s no far off land we need to travel to in order to discover it.

“One of the best things in life is realizing you’re perfectly happy without the things you thought you needed the most.”

For some people, happiness is defined by how much money they have, how well they are able to fit into a social circle, or by how frequently they can hold a smile. These are things that do bring a certain level of happiness, but the problem is, many of them are short-lived.

If you can’t be happy at least you can be drunk.

We’ve all researched and tested so many methods of finding lasting happiness throughout the years. When I was younger, I felt that if I had more money, I would be happy and there wouldn’t be anything else I would want. But the problem I found was that whenever I had a certain amount of money, I would go off and splurge on something that didn’t keep me happy long enough to not want anything else.

Yes I’m high-maintenance, but so is a Porsche.

Many of us tie happiness in with income. A recent study discovered that a yearly salary of $75 000 is all it takes to be feeling happy day-to-day. Gradual increases in salary keeps people happy, but anything above $75k doesn’t bring the same amount of satisfaction.

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.”

Money aside, lasting happiness is defined by the quality of our intimate relationships. This includes close family members and a small group of friends. So often we seek out quantity before quality, and time and time again we come to learn that less is more.

“I like having a small group of friends because, less people will know how crazy I am.”

When you have a small group of people in your social circle, it allows for a manageable amount of people that you can feel relaxed around. When there’s too many people, trust becomes an issue; which is a huge factor in happiness. Trust brings a level of security that we need to feel at ease.

“How can I trust you, when you keep running away every time I untie you?”

Feeling secure is something embedded within our subconscious mind from even before we were born. In our mother’s womb, all our all our needs were met; we were housed, loved, nourished and protected. Ever since we got evicted, we have been trying to re-establish or maintain a certain level of those needs.

“A good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend has lived them with you.”

It’s the sense of security that we find in intimate relationships that brings lasting happiness. Through our closest relationships, we create our most cherished memories. It’s these memories that we will always prize the most in our older years.

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss

When we are able to feel secure with people, we are able to lay down our guard. So often we hold people at a certain distance because of a lack of trust. We fear that they’re going to take advantage of us and take something that brought us the same comfort we felt in the womb.

“Life was much easier with my umbilical cord.”

When we lay down our guard we can abandon our false personas. So often we tire ourselves out by acting in a certain manner that we feel will please people we aren’t close to. Without these things, we can’t feel vulnerable. Through vulnerability, we can be our true authentic selves.

“Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure.” – Bob Marley

Through the pursuit of happiness, it’s not money or things that we are looking for; it’s a sense of security within our intimate relationships. When we’re around the people we trust, everything we had in our mother’s womb can be provided for through these relationships.

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