Paul Nijar

Spiritual Insights on Your Everyday Troubles


Sex! Foreplay! And Afterplay!!

One of the greatest moments to share with someone is spent during sex. It is such a divine act that brings such great awakenings. Our entire emotional and mental state shifts upon having sex. The person you were prior to sex, to the person you are afterwards is totally different. Many of us fail to make a successful transition and end up falling back on old behaviours.

“Are you saying sex causes an identity crisis?”

The crisis with the identity that we carry during this time is that we are failing to evolve as an individual and as a spiritual energy. The reason for this is because many of us are missing out on the most important part of making love.

The goal should not be to try to make your partner hit that “high note!”

As grand as our climaxes are, they are not the goal. When we focus on the orgasm, we are focusing on the end goal of the act itself and missing out on what happened previously and what occurs afterwards. Sex itself should not be the focus. Foreplay holds more value than the sex.

“Go down a waterslide while it isn’t wet and then you’ll understand why foreplay is so important.”

This is the time where we become emotionally connected. Many people rush into sex without first connecting with their partner. This limits the euphoric glory that is meant to unfold otherwise. Most often the partners find themselves unsatisfied by their partners and lay blame on each other for being a “lousy lay.” As human beings, we cannot reach such cosmic highs without emotional content.

“I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you’re good with grammar you’ll get it.”

So often we are in such a rush to have sex that the sacredness and true orgasmic potential is lost. Sex is not meant to be something that we plan for; it is meant to unfold organically. When we plan it out, it becomes mechanical rather than emotional. The mechanical motions are purely physical. This is the time where we are meant to become formless and dissolve into one another. A union of souls.

“When two become one during sex, is like that masturbation?”

When two become one during sex, you no longer are the same individual. In fact, you are no longer an individual. This marks the most important time of the sex. Everything that the couple shared was a lead up to this moment. This is the most valuable moment of intimacy. All the foreplay and the sexual act itself was a method to reach this very moment.

“Thanks for the climax. Same time next week?”

Don’t just jump out of bed. The “after play” is what presents those cosmic highs we chase after during sex itself. This is the time to marinate in the energy that has been cultivated together. The sexual healing provides a shift in the mental, emotional and physical state, but the “after play” provides a sexual awakening which benefits the soul. Jumping out of bed at this time is like having a great workout and then eating junk food the rest of the day; a complete waste.

“Let’s not ruin my meaningless great sex by talking about your feelings.”

When you sit and meditate on the energy that exists during this time, you can feel the vibration of the entire universe. At this time you can be taken on a deep meditative trance. No longer are you confined to your physical flesh. No longer do you feel a separation between your partner and everything around you. You feel one with the universe. At this time, we are transcending the 5 senses and feeling beyond the limits of the body.

“Thank you for the great sex. This time you are changing the sheets.”

Sex is a method to our awakening. Many of us miss out on this awakening as they look at it more like a sport; and in most sports, there’s always a loser. When we understand the sacredness of the act, we are able to connect with one another and breed more love. We all can use a little more love.

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